


All the people on the street know

by Calex



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-05
Updated: 2009-07-05
Packaged: 2017-10-12 03:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/120470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calex/pseuds/Calex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the TV Guide Magazine interview, Adam calls Neil up to freak out a little. Neil is <em>not</em> amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the people on the street know

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god, I don't even know. This is my first AI fic, so I apologise for any mistakes. And I'd love to know what you think about it. Also unbetaed, so whatever mistakes you see are mine. The first line sort of jumped at me and refused to go away, which is why this… happened. Title is taken from 3OH!3's "Starstrukk".

  
"I fucking passed on sex for this shit, so it better be good."

"Help." Is the only coherent thing Adam manages to get out before he dissolves into helpless rambling and chokes and high pitched disbelieving noises combined with flailing, useless gestures that totally means not a fuck a lot because Neil's in fucking _New York_ and Adam's… not. And they're doing this over the phone and not even a webcam or a video call or something, so Neil can't even see it but Neil knows. He knows it like he knows Adam knows the expression on his face _exactly_ because despite their differences and their many and varied arguments and fights, they're brothers, they're motherfucking _Lamberts_ and that means something.

And because Neil knows his brother, he lets him run out of steam, lets him talk on and on and get progressively more hysterical because despite the image he portrays to his adoring public, Adam's like a chick that way; he panics and over thinks and then he freaks out over it and really the only thing that can help is a gallon of ice-cream and something really cheesy on the TV but, as said before, Neil's in _New York_ and there's not much that he can do from all the way over here.

"Adam," he finally cuts in as Adam's voice gets to that pitch people've only heard him letting out during a particularly dramatic turn in a song he's singing. Unfortunately, Neil's heard it more often than that, and it's usually during the instances when he freaks out about something, or they're arguing and really, it's _not fair_ because Neil just wants to do anything to make him shut the fuck up when it gets that far because it hurts his ears and then Adam wins the argument even though he totally doesn't deserve to and Neil has to graciously accept defeat or whatever (he comforts himself with the knowledge that he's _right_ and he's just being the bigger person).

"Adam, stop being a total pussy and tell me what's going on. In real sentences and in real English and everything and not your freaky alien noises."

"Assface," Adam mutters, but Neil can already hear him calming down so that's alright. He takes the insult calmly, settles on his bed, phone balanced precariously on his shoulder as he hooks an arm under his head. It's his "comfortable" position, the one he always gets in when he knows he's going to be there for a long time and he's got a feeling this was going to take a while. He hears Adam take a deep breath over the other end of the line, and the sound is jittery and nervous and shaky and everything _not_ Adam and his glittery alien-ness that it sort of freaks Neil out a little and makes him think that maybe it's a bit more serious than he'd thought.

"Adam?"

"It's Kris," Adam blurts out, and Neil's torn between rising concern and rolling his eyes because of _course_ it's about Kris-fucking-Allen. Not that he has anything against the little man, but seriously, the amount of trauma he gives Adam is driving Neil nuts, especially since Adam always has to pull his drama queen shit on Neil and Neil had sort of thought that it wouldn't be so often since he's moved halfway across the country. He knows Adam has other friends, and isn't talking about your crush something you do with a friend as opposed to your brother?

"Of course it's about Kris," Neil says, sarcastically. "God forbid it be about anything else, right? So what has your little pocket Idol been doing to make me consider filing papers to put you in a psych ward _this_ time?"

"Neil," Adam says, and there's a little warning in his voice and Neil actually _does_ roll his eyes. It used to amuse him how even when Adam's freaking out over Kris, he doesn't let anyone talk about the guy in anything but glowing terms. Now, it just pisses his shit off. Probably it has something to do with the fact that it's _three in the fucking morning_ and like he'd said, he'd turned down sex to answer this phone call. And Neil's very much in need of getting laid. Like, badly.

"Sorry, sorry. So now that you've deprived me of an actual sex life, would you mind getting on with telling me what the hell's wrong this time or do you _want_ me to hang up on you? Because I'm pretty sure Sandy's still around. Or Brandy. Brandi? Whatever her name is. Because she's pretty fucking stacked and I don't give a damn if she's only fucking me by extension because of your newfound and totally undeserved fame. I'd still totally hit that."

"God, you're such an ass," Adam sighs, but there's a smile in his voice and Neil can't help but smile back a little, because he _knows_ Adam.

"Like you're one to talk, manwhore."

"Hey, I'm in a totally committed relationship right now."

"Right," Neil snorts. "Because emotional cheating so doesn't count."

"God, are we having a chick flick moment? Like, you're the disapproving friend or something and I'm the scarlet woman?"

"…" Neil says.

"I didn't actually say that. You just imagined those words coming out of my mouth."

"Dude," Neil says. "Dude, _seriously_?" Adam groans, but it's sort of half covered up by Neil's chuckling because seriously. _Seriously_.

"I hate you so much right now."

"I take back every nice thing I ever said about you," Neil says, gleefully. "I'm posting this on my blog. The whole world's going to know what a huge dork you really are."

"Seriously, _hate_ you."

"What the fuck ever, bitch," Neil snorts. "Now stop pussyfooting around and tell me what's your latest trauma."

"God, I just want to hang up right now. You don't deserve to know."

"I'll tell mom on you if you do," Neil says, cheerfully. "No take backs, sister dearest."

" _Hate_ you."

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

"… You did _not_ just quote The Princess Bride at me."

"Would you rather I quote Labyrinth? I'm sure the internet can help me find something suitable."

"I don't deserve this. Who did I piss off in a past life to get stuck with being related to you?"

"Please," Neil snorts. "If anyone's being karmically punished, it's me."

"That's not actually a word."

"If you're actually arguing semantics with me, then you must be really embarrassed with yourself about why you were being a total and complete teenaged girl just now. You know that just makes me want to know more, right?"

"God, you're _such_ an asshole," Adam sighs loudly. There was a long, awkward pause and Neil's just about to make a comment when Adam continues, and this time his voice is quiet, a little charged and vulnerable and unsure and Neil gets a little serious, finally. "It's… did you watch the TV Guide Magazine interview? The one with me and Kris."

"Despite what the general population believes, I don't actually stalk you."

"Is that a no?"

"Give me a second," Neil sighs, balancing precariously on an arm as he reaches for his laptop where he put it on the floor next to his bed. He flips it open and immediately goes to YouTube and searches for the interview. The title that TV Guide Magazine has given it makes his eyebrow shoot straight up. "Anywhere specifically I should watch?"

"Start from, like, 1:20. But it doesn't actually start until around 1:30."

"The fact that you even know that makes me a little scared, bro," Neil mutters distractedly as he moves the progress bar to the aforementioned time. Adam's silent on the other end of the line, but he can practically _feel_ Adam's embarrassment and that makes him smirk. Anything that throws Adam off or makes him embarrassed is good in his books. Unless if it was something that reeked of douchebaggery, then Neil will totally cut a bitch.

"I was just trying to… let it sink in a little."

"We both can see how well _that_ worked," Neil snarked, but when Adam makes a noise as though he's about to retort, Neil shushes him. "I'm watching the video, genius. Shut up."

He's sure that Adam can hear the tinny sounds of their voices from his laptop, and Adam's muttered 'oh God' confirms that, drenched totally in mortification. Neil just grins, especially as he reaches 1:38. Because really, sometimes Adam's fans are kind of awesome, especially if they manage to make Adam totally mortified.

"You already know what your fans think – " Neil starts to say, then he has to abruptly close his mouth as he watches Kris Allen – _Kris Allen_ – slide his arm deliberately slow as though to drape around Adam's shoulders before he lets it fall to the back of the grey couch they're both sitting on. He blinks. Then he has to grin. "Your boy's deceptively sweet and innocent, but he's got a wicked streak a mile wide, doesn't he?"

"I knoooow," Adam moans pathetically, not even refuting the "your boy" comment. Maybe he didn't notice, or maybe he didn't care. Personally, Neil's sure that he just likes the way it sounds. "It gets worse."

"Like you don't like it," Neil retorts, then frowns. "Worse _how_ , exactly?"

"Just keep watching."

And really, Adam should've grown out of it in grade school or something, but mixed in with the still apparent embarrassment is something akin to giddy excitement and happiness. And maybe a little bit of smugness, too. But it makes Neil curious, so he just shrugs and presses play again and by the time The Moment arrives at 1:55, Neil can feel his jaw dropping. Like, actually dropping. Because _that_ … that he didn't expect. At all. He's still staring at the screen until after the credits start rolling and a little bit of extra footage is shown and then he _has_ to make a comment, no matter how inane, because his brain is still trying but failing to wrap around what the hell Kristopher Neil Allen just said. Did. Said _and_ did, but at least he now knows what Adam feels, he guesses.

"You always ramble when you're ruffled," Neil comments, and he's actually quite proud by how calm and unaffected he sounds. "But seriously, can you _sound_ more like an ass? _Bromii_? What are you, some kind of chemical element?"

"That's 'bromine', dumbass," Adam says, and Neil actually has to pull the phone away a little to stare at it in disbelief. "Okay, whatever," Adam continues, as though he's fully aware of the fact that Neil's prepared to go into a longish rambling spiel that might actually rival Adam's. "Now you get my problem. So, you know, HELP."

"… Dude, I don't know," Neil admits, after a while. "Personally, if you'd told me that Kris would do something like this, I'd have probably laughed in your face. I need to sort of adjust the image of this Kris and the Kris I know before I can even try to make sense of this."

"So basically you're saying that – "

"You're screwed," Neil finishes, bluntly. There's a dull thump and a low, muttered curse from Adam's end before his brother groans long and loud.

"I CANNOT HANDLE THIS, NEIL," Adam screeches, and Neil winces because he can practically _see_ the caps in that sentence. "IT'S BAD ENOUGH WHEN HE WAS JUST THE CUTE GUY I WAS ROOMING WITH, AND THEN THE CUTE GUY WHO'S, LIKE, MY BESTEST FRIEND OR WHATEVER. WHAT THE **FUCK** DO I DO WITH THIS? WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH THE CUTE GUY WHO'S STRAIGHT AND MARRIED AND OH, _HAS A CRUSH ON ME_?!"

"Geez," Neil says, after he figures that it's safe to put the phone back to his ear without Adam bursting his ear drums. "Chillax, will you? Okay, so, your big mancrush says he has a mancrush on you back. That's totally workable."

"You're humouring me, aren't you?"

"I'm _helping_ you, moron," Neil says, condescendingly and ignores Adam's succinct call of 'fuck you'. "Keep quiet, my genius brain needs silence to work."

"This is going to take a while, isn't it?" Adam retorts, snidely and Neil knows that Adam knows that he's glaring right now. "Right, whatever, fine. Shutting up now."

"Hallelujah, a miracle!" Neil mutters. "Next, CNN will show a live broadcast about flying pig sightings."

"Fuck you."

"Ew, you sick bastard. I'm your brother."

"Did I mention how much I hated you? Because I do."

"Broken record."

"I should've talked to mom."

Neil actually laughs at that. "Yeah, no."

"You're right." Neil can hear the smile in Adam's voice, and the affection. "She'd probably just coo and tell me how sweet Kris is. Like I don't already know that, duh."

"God, okay, stop with the sickening mushiness before my barf hits you through the phone."

"You never did manage to control your bodily functions, did you?" Adam sighs sadly. "We really need to do something to fix that."

"Fuck you," Neil says, laughing. "Do you want to hear my genius idea or not?"

"Define _genius_."

"Next time you call me at ass o'clock on a weekend, I'm ignoring you and getting laid instead."

"Well obviously, who chooses to take a call from their brother instead of sex?" Adam says and Neil growls a little because _he did_ , but apparently he's the only good brother around.

"Seriously, totally ignoring you next time."

"You're a good kid, Neil," Adam says, affectionately and Neil rolls his eyes so hard he thinks Adam might've heard it.

"Okay, stop with the condescending older sibling bullshit – "

"I mean that in all seriousness, though. Best brother ever."

"And don't you forget it," Neil says, promptly. "But anyway, the Kris issue. I don't know, man, maybe you should… I don't know… talk about it or something."

"…."

"It's a valid idea."

"That is not _genius_ ," Adam shrieks. "That's fucking _retarded_ , you _asshole_."

"No, actually I think it's pretty damn good. And probably the only thing you can do."

"Hel _lo_ , he's _married_."

"I know. I even met the woman a few times," Neil says, dryly. "Problem is, despite knowing that, you like him. Oh, and look, he likes you back! So you two have _got_ to deal with your shit before it blows up in your faces."

"I don't know," Adam says, miserably. "He probably said it to, you know, get a reaction or something. Or to prove a point. You know how Kris is like."

"Adam," Neil says slowly and patiently, like he's talking to an extremely stupid child. "No straight guy, no matter how nice he is, would ever admit in an interview that potentially _thousands_ or _hundreds of thousands_ or even _millions_ of people **world-fucking-wide** will see that he has a crush on a guy. More than that, a gay guy who's admitted to Rolling fucking Stone that he likes him. So, yeah, your 100% straight? Might not be so fucking 100% after all and if he isn't, and he's prepared to let the whole fucking world know that, you guys need to talk. Because it's obviously driving you insane – well, more insane than usual, at least – and as much as I like to do that on as regular a basis as I can, that's my prerogative as your brother. For _Kris_ to do that, though, is just a whole different ballpark and to be completely honest with you, man, I will _kill_ you if you whine at me over something like this again. So, you know, for the sake of my not being sentenced to lifetime imprisonment for first degree murder, please, please, _please_ talk to him about it."

"I just…" Neil hears Adam sigh explosively, and hears the phone hitting something vaguely metallic and cloth-like, and knows that Adam has yet to change from wherever he's been to before. And the fact that he's shifting and fidgeting means that he's thinking about what Neil's said, at least. "I'll think about it."

"And this is going to be the kind of thinking that'll lead to you capitulating to what I'm asking you to do, right?" A long pause. " _Adam_."

"Alright, already! God, you are so damned _bossy_."

"Hey, I have to be if I want you to actually _do_ something," Neil shoots back. He hears Adam chuckle tiredly from the other end of the line.

"True. Anyway, I gotta go. It's late and you probably want to sleep, right?"

Neil glances at his clock and swears when he sees the time. Five a.m. and he has to look for a job again, tomorrow.

"Damn straight. Anyway, don't think about it so much, alright? Because you know you always freak out when you do that and I think you've already freaked out enough, right?"

"You have no idea," Adam says, wryly. "Night, prick."

"Night, bitch."

"And Neil?" Adam continues, ignoring his rejoinder completely. Neil makes a vaguely assenting noise, an 'I'm listening' noise as he shuts down his laptop. Adam speaks so quietly that Neil nearly misses it at first. "Thanks, man. I… I appreciate it."

"No problem," Neil says, after a pause.

"Love you, bro."

"Oh god, are we having another chick flick moment?" Adam bursts out laughing at that, and when he's still laughing, Neil rushes in, feeling his cheeks heat in embarrassment. "Love you, too."

When he gets ready to sleep after that, he realises that he's smiling. No matter how much he bitches and moans, he thinks it's kind of awesome, really, that he and Adam can talk like this. That they're close like this, especially when he hears his friends bitching about their own siblings. Neil never has to deal with that, because he and Adam are close, their whole family are close, really, and you know, he was totally cool with that. Realising the sappy direction his thoughts have taken, Neil rolls his eyes and mentally kicks himself before he settles down to sleep. Who knows when Adam might call again for another freak out, after all?


End file.
